Being powerful is really important to me. I want to be powerful in my own life. I want to raise children that are powerful enough to speak their minds and I want to work with people who feel empowered to share their thoughts and know their worth.

Life is hard!
Sometimes you’ll be happy, 😃 sometimes you’ll be sad, 😢
sometimes wobbly and sometimes mad!😡

Newton's third law is the law of action. “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” I am a huge fan of action and I love bold behaviour. But I also love consideration. Considering the impact of our decisions is smart. Regret can be a painful energy.

Today, I get to meet a new group of women at Repotted.

Repotted is a retreat I have been running for years and it is one of my favourite things to do.

I get to sit in circles with beautiful, honest, real women. We sit and see and be seen. Being seen is unfortunately rare. Having people witness your stories, your challenges and your dreams is not an experience that many people have the luxury of. 

This Friday is World Menopause Day!

Before you decide that this blog doesn't relate to you - read on!

Maybe you are miles away from menopause, maybe you are way past it, maybe you have no idea about anything menopausal! 

Menopause affects everyone! As a child, I remember tip-toeing around on eggshells not wanting to tip my Mother over. I know men who are living in fear of their partners who have appeared to have personality transplants overnight!

I cannot understand people who do not plan. I am with Benjamin Franklin when he said “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” All of us have been given a precious gift of time and yet we are so ineffective with the way we use it.

As someone who loves action, I have always been a fan of a to-do list. 

I am especially keen on digital to-do lists like “Todoist” - an awesome app that helps you track and plan your to-do’s.

Think of each of the roles in your life as a ball. 

Some are heavy, some are bouncy, some are soft. Some are more important than others. Some are precious. Some balls are crystal — like the teenage daughter ball. Drop that one and there will be a mess! Tears, drama, chaos and likely a nasty memory that will be thrown in your face when she is 30!

What can I do about that? It is my favourite question. 

Sometimes the answer is nothing. There is nothing I can do about it. It is raining - what can I do about that? Nothing!

I watched a very cute video this week of a little girl repeating to her mum "all feelings are welcome" - I loved this video and the message.

I grew up being told that not all feelings were welcome - that it was not ok for me to be angry, cry, or show any big emotions. Many of us were shut down as children and taught to hide our feelings.

Spring has sprung!

The daffodils are up and winter is behind us!

I was asked recently by someone about how to recover from a heavy winter. This winter has been hard - financially, medically and mentally for many. My answer to most questions is ‘action’!

How would you live if you could live any way you chose? 

Would you live alone or with others?
Would you have pets and plants?
Would you have a tiny space or a big space?
What colour would you paint your walls? 
What would your rooms look like?

How heavy is your load?
How much do you currently have in your emotional basket?

Most of my life, I have carried a load. Many would say it is self-inflicted weight that I carry around! Being an over-responsible rescuer who identifies as capable is not easy! 

I am off to China next month - I am very excited.

The tour run to China is all about choices.

We start the day with the most extraordinary breakfast. The most insane array of options on a buffet. Tables and tables of options!

We do a lot of shopping - the size and population of China give us so many more options than what is available in a country the size of NZ.

There are never-ending options all able to be made into the size, colour or design of your choice!

My daughter learnt ballet from a very traditional and strict ballet teacher. The teacher taught her students everything in French. As well as learning very precise new moves they also had loads of new terminology to get their heads around.

After each class, I would ask the girls what they learnt. My youngest daughter Tilly was seven years old and came home to show me her latest learning. Standing on her tippy toes with both arms stretched above her head.

I asked Tilly what her new position was called and she replied, "It's called the hard bit!"

I ran a workshop a couple of weeks ago and spent lunchtime chatting with some beautiful women. Clever, exhausted women. Women who do a lot. We were talking about energy and where we needed more of it in our lives.

One of the women bravely remarked that she would like more energy to ‘put out for my husband’. The official definition of the phrase ‘put out means to ‘lay something out ready for use! The US slang means to agree to have sex. I laughed at this woman's honesty but on a deeper chat she told me that she was actually feeling guilty for not being ‘a good enough wife’. I prodded a bit more about what her husband did to be a good husband. He’s amazing, she said. He mows the lawns and cleans the car and does any jobs that I ask him!

I have a wonderful friend called Rosie who I met a few weeks after she moved to NZ from Korea. Her English was very limited and we had hilarious conversations and a few games of charades to communicate when we first met.

One day we were talking about our families and she asked me, “In your house, are you plenty power?” I asked her what she meant. Rosie said,”I am in charge. I am a powerful woman. I am plenty power”. Oh yes I said laughing - I am plenty power too!

As humans, we have lots of different needs.

We need to look after ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally. One of our most important needs is the need for connection.

Connection is super important - people who feel more connected to others have lower levels of anxiety and depression. They have higher self-esteem, greater empathy for others and are generally more trusting.

I am a big fan of having something to look forward to. It moves me into one of my favourite energies - excitement!

When we are excited about something our effort levels increase. We are also more willing to make sacrifices to achieve something that matters to us.

Assumptions are a huge problem.

Many of us tend to live thinking that we are all the same. That we have similar experiences and backgrounds. I love learning about differences. As a super curious human, I am always asking questions. (I am very nosy and judgemental.) I do not apologise for this! I want to know about other people. The more I know, the better I can relate to them. As someone who spends a lot of time helping and developing humans, I am judgmental so I can triage you into ways I can help. We must always be always listening. People give you constant clues as to what they are about. What they love, what they value, what scares them.