I used to be the comfort-keeper.

The first to notice an awkward silence. First to fill it. First to smooth it over, fix it, feed it, make it nice. If someone in the room was uncomfortable, I felt it in my body. And I made it my job to make it go away.

This is Max. He is the best. Max is excitable and loving. He is always up for anything. He always wants to be involved. 

Max reminds me that joy is in small moments. That walks feel good. That sleep and rest and more lying around would improve most people's lives. Every day for Max is the best day ever. He is loaded with joy. 

I had the most bizarre experience three weeks ago.

Most people grow up without their needs being met. We didn’t get what we wanted. Some of us didn’t get what we needed! Fast forward a few birthdays and the planet is full of humans with unmet needs. 

Self-abandonment doesn’t look dramatic. It looks like a woman who's perfectly fine, perfectly capable, perfectly accommodating. A woman who cannot tell you the last time she made a decision based on her own desire instead of everyone else's convenience!

Who remembers The Game of Life? A popular board game in the 1970s you got to choose a car, an identity and pick a career. You then spun the magical plastic wheel of life to move ‘through life’.  

In an effort to get and do more, I think that we have forgotten the purpose of life.

I spend a lot of time on my own.

While I am a raving extrovert, I am very happy with my own company.

I get on well with me! We have lots in common. We like the same food and activities and all in all I find myself great company!

After years of being capable, I have become unhelpfully independent. I am hard to help. So hard in fact people around me don’t recognise that I have needs! And I have taught them that.

I have recently started noticing bad behaviour. Adults behaving badly. Being unkind, unhelpful and really challenging. Most of these people are unhappy. Something happened to them and they have decided that everyone they come into contact with should pay. Even worse, they think that it is their loved ones' job to put up with their shit.

It's my birthday this week. I'm turning 56. I love birthdays and celebrating in general. 

Celebrating and being celebrated are important energies. Allowing yourself to be celebrated can be tough. It can be weird accepting attention and effort!

I spoke at an amazing event yesterday to 1,400 incredible humans who work in special education.

We all want to be “understood”. I love Thich Nhat Hanh's quote that "Understanding is love's other name".  There is no love without understanding. Understanding ourselves and others is our greatest work.

On Saturday, I attended a whāngai i te hautapu. A sacred ceremony to celebrate the beginning of Matariki. It was beautiful. Super early in the freezing cold we gathered. Now I fully understand that Matariki is not just a date on the calendar. It's a shift in energy.

Allow me to introduce myself!

I am obsessed with human potential and have been self-employed for 30 years.

Most of us are living lives that were written by other people. Our worth was defined by our productivity. Our needs were negotiated down. Our instincts were overridden in favour of keeping the peace, being liked or being enough.

This Sunday is the shortest day and the longest night of the year. We are tilted furthest away from the Sun. It's a turning point! After this, daylight hours begin to increase again. It's a significant time. It might be the permission slip you have been waiting for!

Self-betrayal is the act of knowingly abandoning your own values, needs, or boundaries to gain approval, avoid conflict, or maintain relationships. I wish someone had taught me about self-betrayal when I was 17 years old! It could have saved me years of people-pleasing, neglecting my energy and overcommitting myself.

Life is a game - it's worth learning how to play it! I am a very passionate lover of life. I believe our souls come to earth school to learn and to grow and to experience happiness. While that sounds simple, we get caught up in lots of stuff that don't matter. Here are the eight things that I think we need to do to have a life well lived.

I went and saw Billie Eilish’s concert movie - Hit Me Hard and Soft. As expected, it was an inspiring, raw and unfiltered, exactly on brand on Billie!