Personal Power

I spoke at an event last week about personal power!

Being powerful is really important to me. I want to be powerful in my own life. I want to raise children that are powerful enough to speak their minds and I want to work with people who feel empowered to share their thoughts and know their worth.

I believe that we all have the power to create the life that we want. I like to think of myself as a powerful magnet. One of those big ‘U’ shaped ones you see in cartoons. I am big and strong and I attract everything I need into my force field. It's a wonderful picture to carry around in your head!

I know that I want to be in charge of my life, not living it on other people's terms. The problem is that we give our power away. We give at the expenses of ourselves. We let people take us for granted and let ourselves down. Taking back our power is a big step.

A big test for being powerful is to ask for what you want. Learning to speak your truth and say your bit out loud is a huge step forward.

Before you can ask, you need to know what it is that you want. Knowing what you want and then asking for it is a game changer. You start to feel like you are in charge of your life rather than just rolling with whatever comes your way.

Here are 4 easy steps for living a more powerful life.

1. Know what you want.
   This is not as easy as it sounds - so many people are shut down and completely disconnected from what it is that they really want in their lives. They know that they want to be happy & healthy but they are not sure what that really looks like.
   
   Living a life full of shoulds and expectations will leave you feeling like you are not so much living your life but just hovering above it! If you are planning on being in the driver's seat of your own life, then you need to know where you want to go.
   

2. Ask for what you want.
   This can take some work. We are conditioned from an early age not to put ourselves first or even that it's ok to ask for what you want in life.
   
   Start with small things. "Could you please make me a cup of tea?" “Could you cook dinner on Tuesday night?" Humans are by nature very helpful creatures. We like to help others and feel good doing it. It is our conditioning that leads us to believe that we cannot ask for help.
   
   If you were raised by a Mother who ‘did everything’ and did it with resentment, then you may have never had powerful behaviour modelled to you. You might have assumed that no one wants to help you, that no one ever helps you, that you are in this life alone.
   
   When you are alone is the perfect time to practise your newfound powers. In the car, in the shower. Visualise the person and then ask them for what you want. Set the tone straight away. “What I need from you right now" is one of my favourite phrases. "I could really do with your help” or “I need some help with something” states your intention early. Then go in with the request, 'Can you help me with ….' 'Would it be possible to ….'  'Could I get you to ….' The more you practise, the easier it will get!
   

3. Control what you can.
   One of the most powerful things that I have ever learnt to do is to understand the difference between what I can and cannot control.
   
   If something is within my control, then I give it all my energy. I do whatever it takes to steer it towards the outcome that I want. If something is out of my control - I let it go. Gone - out of my energy field. I don’t hold any space for it. Carrying around stuff that you cannot control weighs you down and stops you from giving 100% to the things that you can. When dealing with stuff out of your control, your power comes in how you respond!
   

4. Speak your truth.
   We are all given voices. We all have opinions. The truth is that many of us have been told that our opinions don't matter - that we should hold back on sharing our thoughts and opinions. The best way to speak up is to speak up! Start small. Try saying things like "I think"  - "I think" adds your thoughts to the pool. It says that you have an opinion. Being able to sit with someone with an opinion that is different than your own is to me one of the greatest forms of intelligence.
   
   The other statement to try is "I don't agree" - stating out loud that you are not in agreement with something is brave. You don't even need to state what your actual opinion is!
   
   Try living out loud this week.