The Weight We Carry
How heavy is your load?
How much do you currently have in your emotional basket?
Most of my life, I have carried a load. Many would say it is self-inflicted weight that I carry around! Being an over-responsible rescuer who identifies as capable is not easy!
Taking responsibility for everyone is exhausting. Emotional care is heavy. I think that it's worth regularly checking your load. When you have a heavy basket, it only takes the smallest thing to tip you over.
I remember being out one day when all the children were small - one of my daughters was being contrary and demanding to be picked up. I carried her for a while - not even considering that it was a choice! I was struggling as she was too big to be lugged around when it hit me that she was more than capable of walking on her own! I put her down. I was suddenly aware of how much easier my walk was!
We unconsciously and subconsciously carry others all the time.
Who are you holding space for? Who are you carrying?
Carrying can be physical, emotional, financial and or mental!
What are you responsible for? Who are you responsible for?
Who could you 'put down'? (Not in the sense of a trip to the vet! Just stop carrying them!!!)
As well as our roles at work and at home, many of us have invisible roles:
Empathy and support coordinator
Financial advisor
Administration assistant
Behavioural moderator
Manager of logic and sensibility
Minister of happiness
Head of safety and smart decisions
I was once told that I had a huge 'parental load' by a medical professional. Having kids is huge. When you have kids with extra needs, it doubles the weight. I often joke that having three children with Type 1 was like having 6 kids. If you have kids with medical conditions, neurodivergent needs or physical challenges, then your load gets heavy pretty quickly. Supporting parents or relatives with medical conditions or life challenges adds to your load.
Sharing your load is helpful. Support, understanding and resources go a long way when your load is heavy. Who do you share your load with?
Having someone to listen to or to advocate for you is a huge relief. Support comes in many forms and it's important to lean into any that is offered.
Identify who is in your basket.
Decide if they still need carrying or is it a historical habit that could end?
Look for what support you can get.
Tell someone when things feel heavy.
It's hard to live lightly with weight on your wings! And just because you carry it well, does not mean it's not heavy!