The Feeling Factory: Greeting Your Emotions at the Door

I watched a very cute video this week of a little girl repeating to her mum "all feelings are welcome" - I loved this video and the message.

I grew up being told that not all feelings were welcome - that it was not ok for me to be angry, cry, or show any big emotions. Many of us were shut down as children and taught to hide our feelings.

"Pain demands to be felt" - A Fault In Our Stars

Feelings demand to be felt - there is a clue at the beginning of the word! Feel is the action that feelings need! All of us have a feeling factory inside. An emotion arrives at the door. It is our job to greet it and decide what happens to it. Sometimes a big emotion will barge through the door. It cannot be stopped. The factory needs to stop whatever it had planned that day and deal with this new feeling. There is often a lot to process.

Emotions are a very physical experience. The tears, rapid breathing, clenched hands, nausea, sweating, palpitations. And quickly we move to our heads, questioning: 'Why did this happen?', injustice: 'This is unfair.', disbelief: 'I can't believe this is happening!'

Each of these energies needs to be dismantled and processed. 

1. Examine - What am I feeling?
2. Decide - Can I deal with this now?

If you are unable to do the emotion justice at the moment, then you can 'box it up' and come back to it when you have the time and space to process it.

3. Describe - How are you feeling?
4. Notice - Where in your body are you feeling this?
5. Recognise - When else have you felt this?
6. Allow - Fall into the feeling.

Avoiding feelings doesn't work. It works for a short time, sometimes. 

It is vital to go back and unpack feelings that you have boxed up. Compartmentalisation can be useful but is not a long-term strategy. Eventually, the pile of boxes will all fall over and you will find yourself in a huge mess!

Remember, you can't heal what you don't feel. Emotions are the language of your body. You live there! Listening to your body is very important if you want to live with mind-body harmony.

Being comfortable with discomfort is essential. The funny thing about uncomfortable feelings and uncomfortable conversations is that we often feel better on the other side of them.

Having stillness in your day as a regular thing will create space for your awareness and connection to yourself to grow. It's very hard to listen to your body or hear your feelings while you are running around a supermarket or an office! We all need to make space for feeling. Connect to your breath and check in with how you are feeling. Really feeling.

So, welcome to your feeling factory. It's time to open the door and greet whatever emotions come knocking. Your job is to notice, to feel, and to process. It might not always be comfortable, but it's always worth it.