Leaving a Legacy

Iris Apfel was one of my 'big elephants'.

A big elephant is what I call the people that you follow. When a baby elephant is born, it spends 12 years following and learning from the big elephants in its herd. From them, the little elephant learns everything that it needs to know to be an awesome elephant. At the age of 12, the elephant leaves and starts its own herd.

I have had some wonderful big elephants in my life. Learning about business, parenting and personal interests. People who have taught me and made me better. People I have ‘followed' and learnt from. Some in person and some from afar.

One of my biggest elephants left this world on Friday. Her name was Iris Apfel. Iris was an accidental icon. She was 102 years old and still working! Born in 1921 in Queens, New York, her mother owned a fashion boutique and famously once told her: 

”You're not pretty, and you'll never be pretty. But, it doesn't matter. You have something much better. You have style.”

Iris and her husband Carl owned a company called Old World Weavers, they were interior designers who travelled the world looking for eclectic pieces for super famous clients like Greta Garbo, Estee Lauder and decorated the White House for Ronald Regan, George W Bush & Bill Clinton. They retired in 1992.

Iris stood for everything that is important to me. Self-expression, self-employed, individuality, creativity, personality, irreverence and fun. She was about showing up: 

“I say, dress to please yourself. Listen to your inner muse and take a chance. Wear something that says ‘Here I am!’ today.”

In 2011, she was the oldest woman to ever do a makeup collaboration with make-up giant MAC. In 2019 at the age of 97, Iris signed a global modelling contract with IMG, she was the oldest cover girl to appear on Vogue. In 2005 at the of 84, The Metropolitan Museum of Art exhibited her extensive and outrageous wardrobe and accessories.

Iris was a long cool cocktail in the desert of homogenised minimalism for me. As a fellow maximalist, Iris’s quote “More is more and less is a bore.” filled my heart with joy!

Being ‘fully self-expressed is a rare thing. We are all so bogged down with messages about how we should look, think, speak, and act. We are told what we should eat and drink and do, who we should love and hang out with and who we should be! Before you can have the confidence to express who you are, you need to know yourself. Know what you like, what you stand for. You need to decide what is and is not ok for you. Rather than fill your life with shoulds, we need to ‘consider our coulds’.

If you could wear anything - what would it be? 
If you could be knowledgeable about something - what would you choose? 
If you could stand up and shout a message to the world - what would it be? 

People having the confidence to express themselves, their ideas and their preferences are the kind of people I want to spend time with. People who have made a decision on how they want to be. The problem with decisions is people think that they are permanent. A human being is not a permanent state. We need to change - often! Pick what feels right for you and do that. Try it for a bit and then change your mind.

Iris knew who she was - what she liked and what she stood for. The world is better for having had her in it. She defied ‘fashion’, she defied the limitations of age and she was an endless source of inspiration for me and millions of others. What a legacy! Thank you Iris x 

Lisa O'Neill