Being Made Wrong Rather Than Right

One of the meanings of the word ‘over’ means being in excess.

I have been ‘in excess’ my whole life! 

I am over-responsible, I overeat, overtalk, overspend, overcompensate, overdeliver and overdo most things!

And I refuse to make myself wrong for any of it. 

Many have tried. I have been made wrong more times than I have been made right in my life. I have a massive problem with the world making people wrong. People being told that they are not right because they don’t fit some shitty mould.

I am a very positive person. This means that I am always looking for good. This has been very useful as an employer and a parent. My eldest son was a shocker at school. He was not designed to do as he was told - especially without knowing ‘why’ something was important. I had many meetings with many teachers over many years! They would often tell me that they did not know how to get the best out of him. My answer was the same every time. “Catch him being good. Notice him and when he is actually doing as he is told, celebrate that!" Catching people being good is a wonderful way to get the best out of people.

When my children were young, I trained in https://www.virtuesproject.com created by Linda Kavelin-Popov, her husband Dr. Dan Popov and brother John Kavelin. I remember a story that our teacher told us about giving a school teacher the challenge of finding something she ‘loved’ about each child in her class. 

There was one wee boy who she could not connect with. He was disruptive, rude and challenging. There was nothing she could identify as ‘good’. After a few weeks, she noticed that he could whistle. He would whistle in class when he was supposed to be working. She commended him on his ‘wonderful whistling’. She noticed a change in him. Whenever he was disruptive, she asked him to take one of the class members outside to teach them to whistle. Over time he made friends, started to fit in with his peers and became less disruptive in class.

The best part about this story is the ending. At the end-of-year assembly, the boy led the whole school in whistling ‘We Wish You a Merry Christmas’ - he had become a leader. He was contributing.

We get the best out of people when we notice the best in them. Try finding what’s right rather than what’s wrong and I bet everything improves!